so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
