Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
