I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
try to milk me bitch
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