Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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