you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
