Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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