And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
