i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
