i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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