he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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