I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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