there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you have to choose: penises or morals?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
