it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
