yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
