4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
