Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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