I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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