I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There's always time for handjobs
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
