YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
