Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
worst night to have a conscience
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
