Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
