We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize