i think i have two assholes
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
