just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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