I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
