Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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