we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Your penis caused this!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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