I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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