To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
