no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
