I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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