Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
