she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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