We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize