belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
