And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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