I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
