She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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