i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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