A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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