I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
