fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize