2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
