She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
