the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His hands were made for my vagina.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
