That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
