In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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