he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
