Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
