Little spoons don't ask big questions
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
