Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
