There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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