her vagine was all disorganized.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
