Got a toothbrush?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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