There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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