I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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