I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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