so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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