I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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