Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
