Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
