i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
