Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
