So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
