im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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