How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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