Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
