bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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