I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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