I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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