i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
